Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It was bound to happen, I guess...

Here's a quick story I need to tell. A couple weeks back while out on an otherwise boring daily run, something happened that I never in a million years would have thought possible: I stepped on a squirrel. Seriously, a real, live, scurrying-about, fluffy squirrel. Just like the one shown here.

Like most runners, I see thousands of squirrels a year on the roads and trails...and like just about every other animal out there, they always run away when I pass by. Sure, the occasional deer might be transfixed by my headlamp on a night run, but even they snap out of it and scatter away when I get close enough.

...but not this squirrel.

I saw him on the side of the road grabbing a few acorns as I approached, and as I got within the usual distance where they start to run away, this squirrel started to move just as expected. The only problem was, you know how squirrels usually zig-zag a bit before running in a straight line to safety?....well, this one did that zig-zag, but decided to run directly into my running path afterward. I must say, it was a pretty creepy feeling to step directly on top of him, but I felt better once I looked back and saw him run away. I guess all the extra fat he's been storing up for the winter helped cushion the impact....or maybe I'm just that light on my feet (yeah, right).

Anyway, I feel much better having come clean and admitted my sinister squirrel-stepping ways...I was worried that PETA would somehow find out about this incident and force me to care for an injured squirrel like when George Costanza hit one with his car on Seinfeld:
  • DOCTOR: "One more thing Mister Costanza, we just need to know what time you'll be picking him up tomorrow."
  • GEORGE: "What's that?"
  • DOCTOR: "Oh, we're discharging the squirrel. We think he'll be better off at home."
  • GEORGE: "He has no home. He's a squirrel."
  • DOCTOR: "Your home, Mister Costanza. Just make sure he gets his medicine six times a day and keep his tail elevated."
Tread lightly out there, people!

4 comments:

JW said...

I'm glad he was up and moving post-impact... I ran over my first turtle while training for the century, and while it was also bound to happen, the sound of his shell cracking will live with me forever :(

Dan Rose said...

Oooooh, I bet that is haunting...I'm glad my squirrel was nice and fat for the winter...all I have to live with is a bouncy feeling like I stepped on a water balloon that didn't pop. The more I think about it, shoe companies should make their insoles out of squirrel blubber, it's quite soft and comfy...

Staci said...

pretty sure squirrels don't have blubber. keep his tail elevated. kills me.

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